I’m back from a brief mental sabbatical and I bring new insights.
Over the past month, my life has taken some interesting turns. Throughout these changes, I’ve been reflecting a lot on my past and I recalled an important moment that I never appreciated until now.
Just about two years ago, I was going through quite a rough patch. To top it off, I was pretty broke but I severely needed to buy a car. I ceaselessly searched for something in my price range while still having a few unmovable requirements. By unmovable requirements, I mean that it had to be a Fiat. (If you know me, you know this was nonnegotiable.)
I eventually found a perfect option in Houston, so I took off and got a ride to go seal the deal. Now mind you, I gave the dealership a call the day before to let them know I was a serious buyer and I would be there the next day with a down payment.
The next morning comes and I’m about halfway there. Something started itching in my mind and I felt the urge to call the dealership once again to let them know I was almost there. To my absolute disbelief the lady tells me, “Oh goodness I’m so sorry we literally just sold it.” I really can’t make this up.
Here I am, halfway to Houston, with no other prospects and I have one day to find a new car that fell into my measly price range. Talk about Mission Impossible.
Needless to say, I was panicking. So many things had been going wrong in my life and I was so fed up. I really just wanted that damn car.
After a few hours of driving around to some lots, I lowered my standards. I got online and found, dare I say it…a Mini Cooper. I know what you’re probably thinking. Madelyn in a British car?! Yes, I know. Bloody dreadful.
But, I was out of options so I had to give it a chance. I don’t think I can stress enough that I had to find a vehicle that day or I would be riding the Beaumont metro to work.
So, I get to the dealership and tell the salesman that I’ve come to see the Mini Cooper (while trying to hide the disgust of course). He leads me to a section that has the trade-ins. All fantastic vehicles, but my heart was not in it.
As we approach my disdainful second choice, my attention is caught just past it. My eyes could barely believe it. An adorable, perfect Fiat sat two doors down.
He tells me that it just became available today and hasn’t even been uploaded online. I’m telling you I was close to tears. Here before me sat a newer, cheaper, more beautiful Fiat than the one for which I had made this trip. This was nothing short of a match made in Heaven.
To this day young Fiavanni hasn’t failed me. He has been one of the most consistent parts of my adult life. Even more than transportation, he represents my foundation. From that point forward, I started becoming the person I know myself to be today.
Now, to most, this might seem like a dramatic tale of a girl and her obsession with her car. But, from where I’m sitting now it’s so much more.
This experience showed me that sometimes I think I know exactly what I want, exactly what I need or deserve, but truthfully there was something so much better waiting for me. After seeing this, I started recognizing other parts of my life that I could apply this to.
There has been countless points where I wonder why something isn’t working, or I’m upset that something didn’t go how I thought it should. Then later down the road, something greater occurs and I feel silly for even questioning my destiny.
Here recently, I’ve been able to fully accept the unexpectedness of life with open arms. Once I opened my mind, my opportunities soared.
All this recent newness is what I have craved for so long. Now I see that I was always swimming against the current. I was so obsessed with taking control of my life that I forgot to allow life to lead me sometimes.
Steve Jobs (who I greatly admire) once said something, nothing too prophetic but something that resonates with me. He said, “…you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”
I feel blessed to be able to experience this enlightenment at a young age. Because even though I know my 20s will be full of struggle, I am content knowing that it will all be for my greater good.