After I turned twenty, I started realizing things. This meant being more open with myself and forcing my friends to do the same (for my research of course).
Side note: Thank you everyone who participated in my study, you've all been so unknowingly helpful.
I guess I got freaked out by being two decades old and not being where I thought I would. So I kicked my mind into maximum overdrive and I have been consuming information like I’m in a hot dog competition.
I wanted to know exactly why 20-somethings aren’t living the life we crave to live. And the conclusion I have come to: we haven’t really tried.
After listening to so many people around me, I finally get it. We sit here and think, and overthink, and then overthink our overthinking. While we were wasting so much time imagining what we could or should be, we have failed to just be.
That is the problem I’m presenting; we aren’t being present. Not enough of us are human be-ings.
I feel absolutely regretful looking back on all the moments I haven’t taken full advantage of, too busy plotting my future. *laughs ironically* Here I am, in the future. Send Help. Nothing is like I thought it would be.
And that’s exactly my point.
I thought so much about what this time of my life would be like and what I would be doing. Yet, most of those things never happened. Seems like that entire time I must have been confused, right? What I thought I wanted was really just what I thought would make me feel alive. Yet here I am, feeling very much alive. Except, I haven’t really been living. It’s more like I’ve been quietly existing.
But that’s changing.
I’m sick of not really trying. I’m making more time for the people I care about. I’m finding new things and places that I enjoy. Above all, I’m understanding myself more and more each day.
This is the peace that I hope everyone will reach. Because I’m looking at my calendar and for the first time, I have real plans. Not just the ones I dreamed up, but real, actual plans. Journeys that will potentially change my life.
Maybe I’m not living in a beautiful city or making an excessive amount of money, but that’s finally okay with me. Because more than ever before, I’m happy.
I know everything is as it should be, or it will eventually be. For now, I just have to be.